


Becoming Numb

by Demon_Apostle



Series: Dragon Age Keep [15]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Emotions, Fourth Wall, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Light Angst, M/M, No Romance, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 01:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5807392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demon_Apostle/pseuds/Demon_Apostle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He blacks out at random times, he can't act on his own emotions, and he finds out his world isn't real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Becoming Numb

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to go a different route for this one and write it from my Inquisitor's perspective if they knew that their world was made up. I thought about it when my Lavellan fell through Skyhold after opening the door to Solas' room. He's not fully aware that Thedas is just a video game but they do find out it's fake.
> 
> I also started writing this at 2 in the morning so sorry if it doesn't make sense.

The first time he woke at the start, Cyros didn't know what was going to happen. Everything was a green tint around him and covered in fog. Questions swam through his mind. What had he been doing? Why was he here? Where was here? His body moved automatically to take in his surroundings and assess what was happening. It was only when he heard the cries of the massive spiders coming for him did Cyros truly think something was strange. The word ‘run’ screamed in his head as though someone was controlling him. His legs moved of their own accord and he was soon racing to get away from those creatures. When the woman appeared, Cyros wasn't sure what to think. He knew some part of him didn't want to take the woman's hand, but his body didn't give him a choice and he fell through the glowing door only to fall into a heap of unconsciousness when he hadn't felt tired.

 

Everything became confusing and automatic after that. From the moment he became fully conscious only to find himself in shackles with a glowing hand, Cyros knew something was off. The two women helped him realize that there was something terribly wrong. When they had talked to him, asked him questions, he did not answer. His silence did not come from fear or stubbornness, but because his mouth refused to move. He wanted to explain that he didn't know anything, scream at them that he didn't destroy this damned conclave, but the words never came. Instead, he sat there like a statue while the women stared as they waited for an answer. They didn't yell at him for taking so long, nor did they move from their positions after they finished a thought.

 

When he finally did speak, Cyros wanted to scream. The first chance he was given to speak, Cyros was unable to for almost a minute. When he finally did, the words were automatic and not his. He did not know why he was expressing sorrow that people died, but those words had been spoken by him to the women. The cycle continued each time, Cyros being unable to say what he really felt and only gave what felt like programmed responses. It became even worse when he was finally able to walk on his own without the shackles or being led by the black haired woman. He found that he could not move his legs the way he wanted, could not turn a direction he wanted to go, and jumped at moments that didn't require the use of his leg strength for such a thing. Cyros had finally come to the conclusion that he was not in control of his own body.

 

He struggled every way he could think, from trying to scream out that he was being manipulated to trying to force his body to go against the direction he was running. Nothing worked. No matter what he did, Cyros could not go against whatever was controlling him. He began to feel helpless, even more so when he fought his first demon. None of the motions were his, the words he spoke weren't what he truly felt, and his body didn't listen to what he wanted. Cyros could do nothing but watch as his own body and words betrayed him. It was around the time he had first stepped foot into Haven that Cyros began to give up. No matter what he did, he could not express to anyone that his actions were not truly his own, but rather an unknown force. Cyros did not enjoy the notion that his own existence was not his to control, even if his so-called companions did not look at him with concern and fear when he ran in circles and jumped against unclimbable rocks. Perhaps they were in the same boat, a life that was not theirs and controlled by something they could not see. That might have been the case, but he could not ask them if it was true.

 

Continuously, his anxiety and fear grew with each new area he went to and each person he conversed with. He didn't know why, but he would black out for Creators knew how long before he would find himself standing beside tents that had already been set up with a woman trying to report to him. He rarely spoke to her, body running in the opposite direction. She never said anything to him about it, and he felt that she actually couldn't. They were all just puppets after all, with no free will of their own. The cycle would go on forever, even after Cyros faces down a dragon, even after he is buried under a mountain of snow along with Haven, and even after he had trudged through a blizzard only to be hailed as a God’s chosen and take a journey to a new settlement.

 

Cyros eventually stopped trying to go against the force moving his body and speaking for him, just letting him see where it led him and what it did in his place. Some things, he agreed with and happily accepted. Others, he felt were absurd and unbecoming but he could do nothing. At least one good thing the unknown force did was make him flirt with the other mage known as Dorian. Despite the man being from Tevinter and, well, being a man, Cyros was just thankful this force had chosen this handsome mage to be the elf’s partner. Even if the relationship went against a few things Cyros found acceptable, he could learn to live with it even if he didn't have a choice.

 

However, when everything was said and done, Cyros was not allowed to live peacefully. Corypheus had been defeated, everyone was saved, but it wasn't truly over. The world had been, in a way, reset. Cyros didn't know what was happening much like the first time. Call it déjà vu or a reoccurring nightmare, but everything had started over again. Cyros was once again back in the Fade, running from the spiders and being saved by what was apparently Divine Justinia. He could only think to ask why. Everything had been done, Cyros had defeated his enemies, had a relationship with another man and was well loved by his companions even though he didn't feel the same at times. So why was it all happening again? It had taken a while, but he had gotten his answer. It was sudden, unprepared for, and Cyros felt his heart drop.

 

He had, in a way, fallen through Skyhold. He did not know why, did not know how, but there he was, standing under the massive structure and standing on an invisible floor. He could see everything, from Dagna in the Undercroft to Blackwall in his barn. Though it took him a moment, Cyros finally understood why he blacked out when he shouldn't have, why he could not control his actions, and why no one seemed to care what he did even if it was the stupidest thing alive. This world wasn't real. None of it was real. Cyros couldn't understand a thing about his situation. He just continued to stand there, staring at the vast emptiness before him while everyone else above was completely oblivious. It appeared that not even the unknown force that controlled his actions dared to make him move. Cyros tried to lift his arm just in case he was actually in a safe zone where that force could not reach but he still had no free will. So he just stood and thought about everything with a deep hatred.

  
If this world wasn't real, then everything that had happened ranging from the strange blackouts to his lack of free will made sense. This was a world of someone's creation and everyone was just a pawn to be used. Much like The Game he had to partake in at the palace, everyone had a role and would either come out on top or be left crawling on the dirt. This also explained why everything had reset and Corypheus was alive again despite their final encounter. Whoever made this world set it so the pawns could move to their wishes and once the villain was slain, they could start over again and again without a care. Cyros didn't want this, didn't find his situation fair. Why did he need to be subjected to this fake world just for the entertainment of someone he's never been able to lay eyes upon before? Why did he need to risk his life when it wasn't even his own to risk? This was just some cruel joke and his life was the punchline. Even worse, this realization means Cyros would have to go through this over and over without any say whatsoever. He doesn't think he can take it, knows he can't but there's nothing he can do to stop it. Cyros will win, Corypheus will be defeated, Solas will disappear, and he can do nothing but watch and become numb to it all.


End file.
